One Time one thing occurred to me: What's real and what's for sale?

We have now been engaged for a few months, the wedding will not be until 2009, but I still cant seem to control myself. I have never considered myself as a girly girl to get consumed in the wedding stress, but am now finding myself spending hours looking at dresses, rings and ideas on the internet. It has now come to the point where I am banning myself from being so selfish (at least until January next year) and focus on other things in the meantime!

Our wedding was originally just to be a quiet small beach wedding where the official dresscode was to include thongs, followed by a barbecue and much dancing into the early hours. It is amazing how quickly this changes into something more chic and elaborate due my lack of backbone from hearing everyone elses contributions. 'That sounds nice Ingrid... but won't your guests want somewhere to sit'? OR 'That could work, but since people are already travelling so far, don't you think you could treat them to more'? SO, I am starting to succumb. Not that I am really stressed over it (not yet anyway!), but I have just come to realise that people will always try to make you question yourself. I know that it is just human response, but I think this is the first time in my life that is for something big.

I have many friends who have had babies in the past year, and I know it is even worse then. All mothers will give their own personal beliefs on raising a child - breastfeeding is the ONLY way to go. How can you not breastfeed? Shouldnt you check the nappy? Surely you should wake junior from his nap - he must be hungry now. Why are you drinking that tea? There is caffeine in that! In my day there was no baby food in the supermarkets - we made it all ourselves.

If there is anything that I have learnt over the past couple of months, it is that every bride and mother has their own ideas as to how they wish to do things. The best thing a friend or family member can do is support them in their decisions. They may be strange, cheap, odd, easy or heaven forbid, different - but as long as nobody is really hurt, and the person making the decisions is happy, then what's the problem?

With all that biting, I know that people are just trying to help, give suggestions, and back-up plans - but rest assured, I am not a shotgun bride, I have 21 months to plan and would like to be married the way Tom and I have dreamt.