Longest time between posts. I have been slack. Not busy, not overrun with other engagements, not working long hours, not studying too hard. Just slack, down and stuck in a hole desperately trying to dig myself out of.
I don't know when it started - probably around 6 months ago (along with the onset of winter I imagine), but I am not liking 'where I am at' at this particular moment.
I have officially started an MSc. externally while still working which has been quite stimulating (two people studying in one household generates some interesting conversation, discussions and encouragement). Have almost finished my first assignment and am already ploughing onto the 2nd. So, I am absolutely convinced I made the right choice to return to study. You reap what you sow, right?
Work couldn't really be too much better. My absolute best friends in Belgium are my colleagues (which can be a pro, but also a huge con), my direct HOD is a true champion - so smart, professional (yet capable of many a dirty conversation) and not at all arrogant. My big boss, despite being a pathologist, does his absolute best to be a good boss, and I think a very reasonable one. I voiced my opinion about a few things today (quite colourfully too) and he is always keen to hear constructive criticism. He is even depositing a bonus into our bank accounts next week which for me is fantastic (despite hearing some people still complain that it wont be enough...).
Am very happy at home. Madly in love with the child I am going to marry. I still laugh every day, even if out of pity... but am unbelievably lucky in my relationship.
So why am I down? The only answer I can come up with is that somehow, in the past 6 months, my idealistic expectations to 'life' are not being lived up to. I have once again jeopardised my friendship with one person, and fear that it may be for the last time. But, I will take on board something she said to me, and attempt to use it to my advantage: Those people who work hard will not go unnoticed - they will be rewarded in one way or other.
I hope to be happier soon.