Monday, October 13, 2008

Control yourself. Take only what you need from them.

Thanks to one of my current faves: MGMT... very different sound, but right up my alley!

No photos this time - just a rant and rave (yes, it's October, the leaves have turned brown, the mood of the average Belgian has turned a little more sour, the knives have proverbially come out in some places!). While everyone in Oz is probably wearing teeny tiny little singlets and the aircons have once again been switched on for the long summer, the days here are getting dramatically shorter and a definite autumn feel reminds me of the long cold months to come!

I feel that I am relatively safe to use this blog as a so-called journal as to the 'happenings' in our lives, but am still a wee bit wary as to what goes on at the place I spend the majority of my life: work. I had quite a psychological chat to Tom this evening about the 'work-dynamic' and relationships formed and lost there. I have worked in enough places to be aware of the need for a hierachy everywhere, but I don't think I have ever worked anywhere with such a prominent 'clique' group and the remaining outcasts/independant workers (can you figure out where I am?!!). Don't get me wrong, I am not phased by this situation, but admittedly do become jealous when other colleagues are praised and encouraged because they are in the clique while the rest of us don't. This is my own self esteem issue, but who doesn't like encouragement?!!

I had a chat with the big boss a few weeks ago, (nothing in relation to the above) and he was so full of praise I am sure I went red, so why do I need encouragement from my peers if eventually the big boss is happy? Without being too cocky, my first year has gone well for me. I have thoroughly enjoyed studying again (even if the stress levels have increased) and the boss is more than willing to encourage me to keep going. BUT I have to bite my tongue around my HOD, because she constantly tells me 'you should feel yourself lucky' when I mention the study. It's just easier to keep quiet than get sarcastic remarks. SO, only one person at my work even remembers I am studying, and I feel a little bit selfish in wanting others to ask "so Ingrid, how is the uni work going?" but have realised once again, that Belgium is just another world to Australia. I often miss Wiggy and Therese with their constant support when I was at uni in my final years in oz.

Now I know I am nagging, but at least it is without the whiney voice, just the clittler clatter of a keyboard!

Em arrives in a week, am so looking forward to seeing my little sis - she needs this trip and her big sis and bro to look after her for a while. We have booked a show at Cirque du Soleil, then the following week, Tom and I will be killing ourselves in one weekend with I love techno, followed by Sigur Ros (quite a musical contradiction...)

Am off to finish my glass of Chianti (picked up while we were in Italy!)

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